Adventures in Chibi-Sitting
by LittlePrincessNana
Summary: When a spell turns all of the dragon slayers into children, Lucy is the unfortunate soul that is suckered into babysitting them on the night shift. Will she be able to survive through the night? More importantly, will they? - Rated M for the second chapter in this Two Shot.


**Hey Everyone!**

 **This was a little something that was spawned from my countless hours plotting world domination with my Triplet, GemNika. We've discovered a serious soft spot for Chibi slayers and well...this is what was birthed. And yea, it will be a two-shot.**

 **Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

 _How in the hell did I get myself into this mess?_

It was the thought that was pounding inside of her head as she took in the scene before her. The room was an absolute wreck. The small children beds were overturned. Some were upside down while others leaned against walls. One had even managed to make it out the open, or should she say, busted window. Clothing, pillows and sheets were strewn everywhere, including what looked like a set of boxers and Mickey Mouse tighty-whities that hung from the ceiling fan. Then there were the six little terrors that were smack dab in the middle of the mess. Six child-sized male dragon slayers with all the energy of the four year olds they appeared to be.

How the council had come to the determination that it would be perfectly acceptable to send all six of them on a mission together, let alone one against a dark guild, was beyond her. Or anyone else for that matter. But the facts were the facts. Someone, in all their infinite wisdom, sent them out. Together. Sure, they took down the guild that was believed to closely related to Zeref but at the cost of a spell that no one knew how to reverse. They'd been assured it would wear off given the castor had been "terminated" but the question was...when?

And there she was. Somehow she'd been the one to get roped into babysitting, or Chibi-Sitting (as she'd aptly named it) over night. _"They respond so much better to you Lucy." "And you've got that motherly instinct Lucy."_ A groan slipped from her lips as she used her elbow to clear away the clutter on the dresser top. Setting the tray of warm milk and cookies down, she turned back to the scene and brought the whistle that hung around her neck up to her lips. Even she winced when she pushed the air from her lungs into the contraption and the high pitched squeal filled the room. She was pretty sure dogs in the next town over heard that shit.

All six of the tiny slayers spun around, surprise and pain etched on their little features as their hands covered their ears. If they weren't so…them, they'd actually be cute. All of their normally handsome faces rounded with squishy little cheeks. Their eyes wide in what should be innocence but she knew them all too well to be fooled by that misconception. They were all dressed in little pajamas that sported an array of themes from SpongeBob to Thomas the Train. _How can evil be so fucking cute?_

"I ain't fucking cute Blondie."

Her eyes quickly cut to the tiny maroon haired child. "Language, Spawn of Satan and stay the hell out of my head."

"Or?"

 _Or else I will hold your little ass down and kiss you all over your CUTE little face. While they watch and only after I take you over my knee._

Cobra's eye narrowed at her for a moment before he let out a humph and crossed his short arms over his chest. "Just you wait," he muttered under his breath.

Lucy gave a roll of her eyes and a wave of her hand over the room. "Now, we're all going to be good little boys and clean up this mess." She heard their groans and moans and pressed her fingers to the throbbing in her temples. _They're kids Lucy, you can't go bashing in their skulls no matter how good it would feel._

"Lucy! Laxus isn't helping!" Sting whined before letting out a painful yelp. "OWWW! Lucy! Laxu-"

She turned at the sound of something hitting the floor and had to bite her lip to keep from laughing as the white dragon slayer picked himself up. The pillow in his hand was clutched so tight, his little chubby fingers were white knuckled. "Laxus," she warned with a glance as she made her way over to brush the feathers from the platinum blonde head of hair. "You helped make the mess so you can help clean it." She caught the sight of Sting's tongue sticking out and her hand whipped out to latch onto the little pink muscle. "And YOU. I see this tongue again or one more tattle and I'm ripping it out. You'll be shoved under the stairs with the others."

"Yeth."

She quirked a brow at the chibi slayer and grinned when he gave a roll of his eyes.

"Yeth Ma'am Luthy."

Her fingers released their grip on the slayer's tongue and she wiped the spit from her fingers by means of ruffling his blonde hair. She gave a clap of her hands and moved to pick up the bed linens that were piled into a heap off to the side of the room. "Let's hurry up before your milk goes bad."

"I am NOT drinking warm milk Blondie."

She didn't even grace the lightning dragon slayer with a glance. "Laxus Dreyar, You'll drink your milk and like it or else I will…" She let her words die off realizing she couldn't very well say what came to mind to a child. He may still have the mental capacity of an adult but it would probably be seen as child abuse to threaten him with a drowning. A snicker came from the other side of the room and she glanced up from the task of making one of the beds. A knowing grin pulled at the corners of Cobra's mouth as he struggled to make his bed and she shook her head. Not even her thoughts were sacred from this group of hells rejects. _He's the evilest one of them all but he's so fucking adorable._

Once the beds were made and the room was back to its original state of order, she quickly directed them to the set of small table and chairs that Bisca and Alzack had so kindly donated. It was a sight to behold some of Fiore's toughest fighters reduced to sitting at children's tables. Natsu, Sting and Rogue sat at the Dora and Boots table while Laxus, Gajeel and Cobra had quickly commandeered the Transformer table. Even as children there was still a semblance of a pecking order.

* * *

"Alright guys. Night night time," she directed as she began picking up their cups and saucers.

"You don't have to fucking treat us like babies Bunny," Gajeel sneered as he begrudgingly trotted his way to his bed. "First it was _tubby_ time which sucked by the damned way. I smell like fucking baby powder and lotion. Now it's _night night_ time. Next you'll be singing us some twisted ass lullaby about some poor unsuspecting kid falling from a cradle."

Cobra climbed into his bed and sat indian style. "Dude, she's imagining your metal ass being the one IN the cradle."

"Gajeel, language. One more curse word comes from that mouth and I will rinse it out with soap and metal eating acid," Lucy sighed as she helped the chubby little thing that was Natsu up into his bed. "And did I NOT tell you to stay out of my head?" She shot a look at the poison dragon slayer only to find him smirking at her in amusement. _Little twisted fucker, I'd really love to take my belt to his backside just for shits and giggles._

"I might like it," Cobra mumbled.

Sting fixed his covers over his legs and glanced around the room. "Gajeel doesn't want you to but I think you should sing us to sleep or read us a story."

She glanced over at the blonde child and sighed. The only book she had handy was definitely NOT child friendly. _Nothing that comes from Erza's personal library is._ The trip down to the guild library was out of the question. She'd only been downstairs a matter of minutes fetching the milk and had returned to the room turned upside down. No, that wasn't an option either. "I don't have any stories and I don't know any kid songs."

"Awww come on Luce! I want you to sing me to sleep too!" Natsu's whine as a child was even worse than it was as an adult.

She looked over to find him giving her the biggest set of puppy dog eyes one could possibly imagine and her resolve waivered. She gave a shake of her head and sighed. "Natsu, no. I don't know any songs I could sing to you guys that would put you to sleep."

"You could always use Gajeel's guitar," Laxus stated matter of factly as he leaned back to cross his short, stubby arms behind his head and crossed his little legs in front of him.

"The fu...fudge she can nine-volt," the iron dragon slayer grumbled as he fluffed his pillow. "And we don't need singing. Just go to sleep."

"Song! Song! Song!" Natsu and Sting began chanting in unison and she could only sigh.

She saw the others eyeing the two and could just see another brawl starting. _Can't I just smack them all with a hammer? Please? It won't hurt…bad._ A weary sigh slipped from her lips as she glanced down at the time on the clock on the wall. The cathedral bells began to toll in the distance. _Midnight._ She needed to get them to settle down and get some sleep so she could at least have a shot at a nap. This wasn't supposed to be this hard. "Fine! I will sing ONE song and then it's lights out." She looked around at the group and raised a brow in question. "Got it? One song."

Sting and Natsu let out a cheer as Gajeel and Laxus let out a threatening growl. _One, two, thr-_ The growls and cheers turned to shouts of insults and all out yelling faster than normal. She knew it was coming. The six of them had trouble getting along as adults, as children. It was pure hell. "Guys come on," She pleaded only to have it fall on deaf ears as the volume of all six voices shouting at once rose.

"How about I come over there and shove my fist down your throat Salamander?"

"Fuck you Rust Bucket! I want a song!"

"Yea fucking Metal Face, shut the hell up!"

"Sting would you just shut your mouth and stay out of it?"

"You shut the fuck up too Rogue!"

"I'm fixing to zap all of your asses if you don't ALL shut the fuck up!"

"Oh like you scare them right now mini bug light!"

"Choke and die on your own jizz Lizard Boy."

"How about I choke you with my-"

"ERIK! YOU WILL NOT CHOKE ANYONE WITH YOUR TWIG AND BERRIES! NOW! ALL OF YOU SHUT UP AND LAY YOUR LITTLE ASSES DOWN!"

A hush quickly fell over the room as six sets of eyes landed on the seething celestial mage. She was pretty sure steam could be seen billowing from her ears. Her whole face felt like it was on fire. Digging her fingernails into the palms of her hands, she closed her eyes and took in a deep but shaky breath before even attempting to speak again. And when she did, even she could hear the death that dripped from each syllable. "Now. I am going to sing you insufferable little shits a song. You're going to keep your pie holes shut. Then I will turn off the light and you'll all shut your beady little eyes and go to sleep. If you so much as make a peep, I will take my belt to every single back side in here. Do I make myself clear?"

Her eyes opened again to find every single one of them staring at her as though she'd lost her mind. But the greatest part was the fear she saw flickering in their eyes. What surprised her even more was the fact that Cobra didn't even comment on her using his given name or the twig and berries crap that fell out of her ass (aka her mouth). _I am fucking magic._ Giving a nod of her head, she ran through the list of songs that she knew all the words too. Unfortunately, one by one she checked off them off of the list. They either weren't kid friendly or they just weren't very good bedtime songs. Her lips pursed as a finger came up to tap at her lips and the very last song in her catalog made her pause. It really wasn't exactly a kids' song per se. But it did come from a video game and she knew all the words. _That makes it ok right?_

She reached up to scratch at her head. Singing in front of others really wasn't her strongest suit and her musical index often veered on the strange side of things. This song was no exception. She quickly made her way over to the tables and took a seat on one of the larger chairs in the room. It felt a little weird with no music so she had to cue it in her head. Her eyes drifted closed as she pictured the video game end on her computer and pretended she was sitting at home in her room.

"This was a triumph!  
I'm making a note here, Huge success!  
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction."

"Seriously? Portal?" Stings question made her want to bash his head in but she continued on.

"Aperture Science…  
We do what we must, because we can  
For the good of all of us…Except the ones who are dead."

She opened her eyes to narrow them at each of the little boys. A couple of childish chuckles rang out in the room and it was hands down the best sound she'd heard in the last twenty-four hours. Children's laughter always held a magical tone. She genuinely smiled for the first time that night.

"But there's no sense crying over every mistake.  
You just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake.  
And the science gets done.  
And you make a neat gun for the people who are still alive."

"Is this really a song?" Laxus questioned.

"Yea and leave it to Bunny to actually know it."

She grinned as she stood up. She was getting her footing back under her, her confidence coming back with the relief that they weren't completely booing her out of the room.

"I'm not even angry...  
I'm being so sincere right now.  
Even though you broke my heart and killed me."

Her gaze fell on Natsu, knowing the part coming up and thought it fit him. His trademark cheeky grin pulled at his lips as she started moving towards him, her hips swaying to the ridiculous tune that only she could hear.

"And tore me to pieces.  
And threw every piece into a fire.  
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!  
Now, these points of data make a beautiful line.  
And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time!  
So I'm glad I got burned!  
Think of all the things we learned!  
For the people who are still alive."

Natsu giggled and kicked his feet excitedly on the bed. _Thank fucking god! This might actually work!_ She moved about her room as the guitar played in her head. Her eyes locked on Cobra who was giving her his typical quirked brow and she grinned.

"Go ahead and leave me...  
I think I'd prefer to stay inside...  
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.  
Maybe Black Mesa?  
That was a joke. Ha Ha. Fat Chance!"

She almost lost it when he mouthed the "Ha Ha" part as she sang. Instead, she gave him a joking roll of her eyes as she turned her attention back to the others in their beds.

"Anyway this cake is great!  
It's so delicious and moist!  
Look at me, still talking when there's science to do!  
When I look out there, it makes me glad I'm not you."

Another couple of giggles sounded out and she found them all watching her in rapt attention as she casually danced and mimicked movements as though she was the computerized voice from the game.

"I've experiments to run.  
There is research to be done.  
On the people who are still alive.  
And believe me I am still alive.  
I'm doing science and I'm still alive.  
I feel fantastic and I'm still alive.  
While you're dying I'll be still alive.  
And when you're dead I will be still alive.  
Still alive.  
Still alive."

When she was done, they all blinked up at her. Their little round faces poking up from just under their covers. The sight made her laugh. It really was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. There was no bickering, no arguing. Just amazed little expressions on the face of children who were normally men.

"Blondie?"

She turned in the direction of the voice to find Cobra looking at her with an expression of confusion. "Yes Erik?"

His eye brow arched as his head tilted. "Why the fuck would we be dead?"

"Because you didn't go to sleep when I told you." _And with the shit you little fuckers have pulled tonight, you all deserve to shaken until your little fucking heads pop off of your shoulders._ She heard him audibly take in a sharp breath when her lips pulled up into her best Scary Lucy smile.

A knowing grin stretched across his face. "You're…funny when you threaten people…"

"Luce?"

Natsu's voice pulled her from the stare down she was having with the Poison Dragon slayer and she turned to offer him a smile. "Yea?"

"Can we use science to make me a gun?"

A pillow flew from the bed beside the fire dragon slayer and she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing as Gajeel sat up in his bed to glare at the other boy.

"Are you fucking stupid? Why would we use science to make you a gun when CLEARLY I will get the gun before you."

Lucy's eyes crossed as she palmed her forehead. _Birth Control. That's what this shit is. I'm never having kids. Ever. I'm never having sex aga….no, fuck that. I'll pay some back alley doctor to rip my baby making parts out or I'll dive feet first into a fucking dumpster filled with rusty coat hangers._ Her fingers dug into her scalp as the sound of Laxus and Sting joined into the newest fray. A growl of frustration rose from the pit of her stomach before she let it erupt from her lips in the form of a scream. "THAT'S IT! THE BELT FOR EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"

Her fingers flew to the buckle and in a time frame that would impress even Gray, her key pouch dropped to the floor as she gathered the leather in her hand. Pulling the loop tight, she saw them all freeze and shiver as the leather snapped loudly against itself. Before she could even blink, the four loud mouths dove under their covers and curled into shaking masses of blankets. She had to admit it was a satisfying moment to know she held all the power in her hands.

When they didn't appear to be moving any time soon, she made her way to the door. She gave a glance back to find Rogue and Cobra looking expectantly at her. She gave them both a soft smile. "Now sleep," she whispered before cutting the light off and shutting the door closed behind her. She was now in desperate need for some LUCY time just to decompress and get over her overwhelming desire to strangle everyone that convinced her to take up the nightly post. _There's no way I will last another night._

* * *

"Lucy! You survived!"

Lucy groaned as she cut a look of death at the all too chipper barmaid. "Mira, that will not happen again."

The woman laughed and walked over to pour the strawberry contents out of the blender. "Awww it couldn't have been THAT bad."

Lucy set her bag on the counter and climbed up onto a stool. "Bad? Oh no, bad is a word you use to describe a day in which your hair gets set on fire or you get impaled on a stake. THAT was pure Hell WITH a capital H."

Mira just chuckled as she sat the smoothie filled glass down on the bar in front of her. "Well then I guess it's a good thing the spell wore off."

Lucy blinked at the woman before the sound of a door opening pulled her attention. Her eyes lifted to find all six of the Dragon slayers making their way down the stairs. Every single one of them returned to their former adult glory. A flash of the children they were sent a creepy chill down her spine and she visibly shivered. Most of them she loved like her own siblings but it brought a very clear picture to mind. Had they known each other as children, she was more liable to kill them then befriend them. It was only the bonds that she had formed with their adult selves that stayed her hand from actually doing the deed the night before. _Thank you Mavis for small miracles._

Her eyes caught on the last one and before she could stop herself, a small grin formed on her lips. While he was adorable as a child, albeit just as big of a cocky son of a bitch. He was fucking beautiful as a man. _And god is he all fucking man._ Her tongue darted out to lick at suddenly dry lips as she took in his self-assured posture, his hands shoved into the pockets of his navy blue pants. Her fingers itched to wrap around the fur lined collar of his white coat that stretched all too perfectly over what she knew to be the most bitable shoulders known to man. _Fuck me and those lickable chiseled abs with those perfectly sculpted pecs._ She'd spent countless hours memorizing everything from his sexy ass pointed ears to his beautiful toned calves and every square inch of his deeply tanned skin.

"Are you sure it was ALL bad last night?"

Mira's voice pulled her from spiraling thoughts that only led to her shifting uncomfortably. And it wasn't just because the Baby crazed, matching making demon was grinning a little too lecherously at her. _Dumpster hangers, here I come._ "Yes Mira, I am sure. I'd call them all Spawns of Satan but I am sure that the bulk of them would be quickly rejected from hell for fear they may take over."

"Uh huh, keep telling yourself that Lucy," the demon smirked.

Lucy sighed as she grabbed her bag and cup. "I'll put it this way Mira," she said as she slid off her stool. "Go home, have six babies with Sting and THEN come back to discuss." A feeling of complete satisfaction settled over her when the woman actually blanched.

"I love him but six?"

The celestial mage gestured towards the group of slayers with her cup. "That's what it was like last night," she sighed. "I will say that I WON'T be having any children anytime in my foreseeable future." She turned to walk away, her movements stumbling when the all too perceptive woman called out.

"But that would suggest that you've possibly found someone!"

She feigned absent mindedness as she turned back for the briefest of moments to give a "silly me" laugh and roll of her eyes. "Of course, I meant to say that whe-"

"She meant to say she has and would prefer throwing herself into a dumpster filled with rusty fucking hangers feet first before we even consider kids."

Lucy's breath caught when the all too familiar deep, gritty voice cut her off and her eyes lifted to find Cobra moving towards her. _What the fuck are you doing Shit Stain?_ They'd agreed that to avoid the pressures and complications that came with her guild and his, their relationship would be kept under wraps until they felt it was time to let it be known. She felt the teeth of fear nipping at her edges while curiosity swam in her brain. He'd been the more persistent of the two. He valued his privacy about as much as she valued her keys. So why now?

"Doing what I should've done before," he whispered huskily as he came to stand in front of her.

Her eyes widened as his arms slipped around her waist and he pulled her flush against him. The entire guild fell silent but it was lost as she swallowed the lump that rose into her throat. The devious glint that typically danced in the purple depths of his eye was gone, replaced by an emotion he only ever showed her behind the privacy of a closed door. His head dipped and she audibly sighed when his lips feathered gently against hers before he claimed them for all to see. She was oblivious to the cheers that erupted around them. The only thing that existed was the way his tongue beckoned her lips to part and the taste of him when her tongue eagerly rose to meet him.

Her fingers came up to bury in the untamable, messy mass of maroon spikes. She moaned into his mouth as his hands stole down to grip her ass through her skirt. The hard length of him pressed against her through the fabric of their clothes and she found herself having to remember they were in the middle of the guild hall. Breaking the seal they'd created, she smiled against his lips as her eyes cracked to look at him curiously. "Why?" She whispered.

A slow grin spread over his face and he gave her bottom lip a nip. "Because if I ever get stuck as a fucking kid again, I want every motherfucker in here to know just who you belong to," he growled.

"Have a little respect for my sister Snake Cunt, get a fucking room!"

Cobra pulled away just enough to shoot Laxus a well deserving middle finger. "How about you go fuck yourself Bug Zapper?"

The tall, blonde lightning slayer threw an arm over the Iron Dragon slayer beside him and gave a shrug. "That's what I got the little guy here for."

Lucy let out a laugh as Gajeel effectively elbowed Laxus in the gut. Everyone thought it a joke but she knew the truth. While they didn't show it, they were both hopeless lost to each other. Her gaze returned to the man in front of her and she smiled. _Definitely hopeless._ "I need sleep Face Fucker," she chuckled as she turned for the door. A hand clasped her shoulder and she felt his lips brush against her ear.

"I gotta give Jellal a shout," he whispered. "But leave the light on because I won't be too far behind." His tongue flicked the shell of her ear and a shiver shot right down her spine to settle between her legs. "And I've gotta live up to that name and use that beautiful fucking face of yours."

Pushing down the desire to say fuck it and just rip his clothes off in the middle of the hall, she reached down for her keys. She pulled the spare apartment key off and turned drop it into his hand. "Just call me Motel 6," she chuckled as she leaned up to give his cheek a peck. "I'll be waiting." She gave him a quick wink before exiting the hall, a wide but tired smile settling on her lips. What had started as the worst adventure in baby, or Chibi sitting, had just turned into the best day of her life.

* * *

 **Chibi Slayers...so darned cute in their little pajamas muwahaha. There will be a second chapter that will be more...smut-centric for the CoLu fans out there.**

 **The song is Still Alive from Portal. The You tube Link is watch?v=dxTNqYAWISs**

 **Again, huge props to GemNika. She inspires the most devious things and our nightly sessions are the best way to end a day. Thank you my Triplet for being as cracked in the head as I am. I love you to the stars and back!**

 **As always, please R &R!**

 **Big hugs!**

 **Princess Nana**


End file.
